Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
