HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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