just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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