I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
