so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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