p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
