i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
