I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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