so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
