Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
