Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
