i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
