i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
