We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
