Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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