Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
In the future we'll all be gay
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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