i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
