Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
