Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
