You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
