Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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