i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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