i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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