He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
