I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
