You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
