My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
