An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
