Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
