I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
