oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
