Need sex. Gaining weight.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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