My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
