I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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