Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
