people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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