Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
