So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
