I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
