ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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