I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
