Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
