My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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