Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
