I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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