We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
