Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
