oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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