there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
