Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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