The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
