ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize