We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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