Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
